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Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Hope From A Waffle


It is the smell of a toasted waffle that lets me know things are evening out. Life, thrown off balance by an amazing trip, is righting itself again. Why the waffle? Because it is homey. And home is where I find myself again, hard as it was to leave paradise.

A good mother (a better liar perhaps?) would write a post about how there is no place like home and there is nothing better than those sweet faces that greet you upon returning. And of course that is true. Of course it is. And yet...

Source: http://thedreamtravelgroup.co.uk/caribbean-holidays/aruba/


On Monday we said goodbye to paradise. Palm trees swaying in the gusty warm breeze. White beaches and transparent blue water. Music wafting over to us from a pier that sat atop that water. Waiters who would bring us Pina Coladas with fresh cut pineapples clinging to the sides just because we asked for it. Temperatures in the 80's when you woke up, when you sat by the pool, when you went to bed. Blue skies and starry nights and time-- precious time-- together, with no one asking for anything save whether we wanted lunch yet or what our dinner plans were.

I didn't want it to end. Does anyone want to leave paradise?

The plane ride home was hard. Jarring. Real life awaited and I knew I would hit the ground running. We arrived home at 10pm and the very first thing I saw was a huge, hulking pile of laundry. There was a strange spill that had not been properly cleaned up and had festered a few days. We were out of the grocery basics. Work was everywhere I looked. I wanted to sprint back to what I had just left. Let's just say it was a good thing I couldn't.

Slowly but surely I suffered through re-entry. I ran the errands, and made the lists, and taught the class, and drove the car. But as I slathered aloe on my sunburn (a bit of advice: never say "Let's just sit in the sun for one hour before we go because I want to get a bit more sun" in Aruba) my heart was torn. This is real life. This is where I belong. I do not belong in Aruba, nor would I want to. And yet, it is hard to know that such bliss exists and then just leave it behind.

And so I am switching from gorgeous vistas to grocery visits. From waterfalls to work. From long insightful conversations to staccato bursts of necessary communication. From lingering to racing. From radio silence to constant contact.

I can't lie and say it's an easy switch. But the waffle this morning? The way its smell satisfied some deep part of me, the part that knows where I belong? It gave me hope. I won't always long for Aruba. Eventually, I will settle comfortably back into this life that is mine; the lingering longing will dissipate. And with any luck, I'll find paradise in my own backyard again.


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Monday, April 21, 2014

Intentional Mondays: The Easter Monday Edition


Quote: "It would seem our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling around...when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased." CS Lewis

What I take from this quote? Two words: Don't settle. And don't be afraid to imagine. Instead, dance with the fear.

Write Every Day... Am keeping on pace thus far with this new story. And I'm having fun writing it, which is a necessary part of my process. The part that I think shows up for the reader. (Sometimes when writers talk about "their process" it can sound so high-falutin. I don't mean to sound that way and sort of cringe when I use the words "my process." But there it is. I do have a process, such as it is. And year by year, book by book, I'm learning what that is, and easing into what it requires.)

My One Word... AFFIRM. This review from Publishers Weekly AFFIRMed my writing. As I prepare for a new book to release, this was a good boost, an AFFIRMation of my efforts. We all need that from time to time.

Listening To... David Gray's recently released song Gulls. At minute 2:24 the DG I love shows up.

Sharing Stories... The books! The books are piling up! All good, all worth reading-- nonfiction, thrillers, YA, literary masterpieces. There is something to learn from all of them, something to glean about life, writing, and the power of story. Your TBR pile might not look like mine (God help you if it does) but I hope you have at least one book you're reading-- one story you share with yourself after a long day or in the midst of the crazy life you lead. Stories are the great escape.

Randomness... I'm enjoying this new show as a guilty pleasure. Some folks like reality tv or angsty Lifetime movies, I like whodunits and true crime. This one about uber-moms who snap intrigues me for reasons I don't want to delve into too deeply. But come on... "Perfect wife, perfect knife!" Brilliant tagline!

For the record I took the "What Kind of Stepford Wife Are You?" quiz and did not agree with the results. I don't have a spray tan, manicure or ever wear perfume. So there!

In The Kitchen... Not much cooking went on in our house over spring break. This week will be about getting back on a meal plan and routine. Most notably I bought Suddenly Salad for a future side dish, which means it's time for grilling out! Marinated chicken, pasta salad, and some sort of veggie is a staple meal at our house once the days get warm.

Plans... My plans this week involve substitute teaching, writing, preparing some classes annnnnnd something very exciting. I will tell you about it next week. But I probably won't be posting next Monday. (That's part of the plans.) So look for me on Tuesday, or maybe Wednesday.

Loveliness... Easter was truly lovely, start to finish. On Saturday, it rained all day. There was not a moment of the day that rain was not falling from the sky. And yet, on Sunday we woke up to impossibly blue skies and sun. My 11yo son observed that, on Saturday it was dark and depressing outside-- and that was the day that Jesus remained in the tomb. But on Sunday, as we experienced blue skies, we could feel the hope and light that comes with resurrection. I'm paraphrasing what he said, but still, it was insightful and so, so true. I hope your Easter was lovely too.

Photo of the week: This is me holding my novels, including my newest one, which I received an advanced reader copy of this week. It was so surreal to hold them all in my hands that I had my husband snap a photo. It may not look like much, but it's about 6 years of my life.


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Monday, April 14, 2014

Intentional Mondays


My apologies for missing last week's Intentional Monday post. Not that you were wringing your hands wondering where it was. But I committed to getting it up if I did nothing else in my blogging (a lot of times I do not) and, dang if I didn't miss anyway. I blame the plague from the week before. It takes a lot to reboot after being ill for a whole week. I think we are finally back to normal but, really, what is normal anyway?

Quote: “You should always be trying to write a poem you are unable to write, a poem you lack the technique, the language, the courage to achieve. Otherwise you’re merely imitating yourself, going nowhere, because that’s always easiest.” John Berryman (Note: I substitute novel or essay or memoir or... whatever would fit for you in place of the word poem, here.)

Write Every Day... Slowly but surely the ole word count is increasing. I'm hoping to hit 60,000 words very soon. That means the first draft is 2/3rds written! And also? This past weekend I spent in Myrtle Beach SC "researching." It's a rough job, but someone's gotta do it. I hope to write more about my time later this week.

My One Word... AFFIRM. Two writers have been AFFIRMing some things in my own interior faith monologues through their brave and powerful words. Sometimes they are words that make me shift uncomfortably, and glance around to see if anyone else sees what I'm seeing. But this is good. I'm learning to be ok with reading things that feel unsafe, to push against the safe boundaries I've always tended to want to live within. I've been energized by the realness of their writing-- and challenged in my own writing, too, which is always a good thing. Check out Micha Boyett and Addie Zierman if this sounds good to you, too.

Listening To... beach music-- the Catalinas, the Tams, Smokey Robinson, the Drifters, the Showmen, Chairmen of the Board, etc. It's spring break around here this week and I can't think of a better soundtrack for it.

Sharing Stories... Addie Zierman's story of being raised in an evangelical church and questioning more and more about some of the practices we take for granted has been one of those "yes!" reading experiences. It is a book that demands a journal be close by for recording quotes and responses and delving deeper before I forget.

I'm also reading some thrillers for fun. They are consistently my go-to reads. I've got two going right now.

Randomness... This? Is just not fair. And I just love how much Alexa looks like Billy. When I was in high school I missed the concert where Christie and Alexa toured with him. Still regretting that all these years later.




In The Kitchen... A meatball casserole that features parker house rolls and pasta sauce and meatballs, of course. It kinda sounds like an Italian version of a bread pudding or one of those overnight French toast casseroles, just savory instead of sweet. Will share it here if it turns out decent. If I never mention it again, assume it was a complete fail and bread pudding should always be sweet.

Plans... Nothing. No teaching, no lunch packing, no schedules, no homework. A week off to enjoy... just the break we need. Bring. It. On.

Loveliness... Last week I was running and I looked up to see... green. The leaves are back on the trees, an occasion I try to always notice and be thankful for. After spindly brown bare branches all winter, the burst of green is just so hopeful and... lovely.

Photo of the week:




Easter table: simple, colorful, seasonal. We will gather there, all 8 of us, soon. This is increasingly a feat as they all head in different directions and follow different schedules. My younger ones were marveling over the fact that soon they will have siblings who are 22, 20 and 18. This seems darn nigh impossible and yet... it is. I've become one of those older mothers who marvel at how the time passes.
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Wednesday, April 09, 2014

Billy Coffey, Author of The Devil Walks In Mattingly


When I first read about this book, the premise captivated my imagination. I thought perhaps it would yours, too. Read on...

What can't be laid to rest is bound to rise again. Everyone has a past and has made mistakes, but what happens when those secrets grow and control our lives? "We can all be hampered by our pasts, but that in no way negates the power of choice that's available to us all. We can choose to become more. We can choose to live better." Billy Coffey knows life isn't easy, and like the characters in his latest release, The Devil Walks in Mattingly (Thomas Nelson / March 11, 2014 / ISBN: 978-1401688226 / $15.99), he hopes to guide people who are shrouded in the darkness of regret to the hope and light of redemption.

Q: What was the inspiration behind the storyline for The Devil Walks in Mattingly?

He was a short, awkward boy plagued with acne and a head of greased auburn hair that he kept parted to the side. I shared seven years of my life with him, from the sixth grade through our high school graduation. He wasn't the only one I spent that time with, of course. There were others, eighty or so of us, all bound by the same small town. We hung out with one another and got in trouble with one another, hated and loved together, all of us but him.

Aside from the occasional nod in the hallway between classes, I never had dealings with him. He was a nonentity to me, a barely-there ghost I chose not to see.

Even now, some twenty years later, that boy will cross my mind.I don't know where he's gone or what's become of him. I like to think he's made something of himself. I often think he hasn't, and I wonder how much of that is because of me.

That boy became Phillip McBride's character in The Devil Walks in Mattingly. In many ways, Jake's, Kate's and Taylor's struggle to atone for their sins somehow of what happened to Phillip mirror my own struggle to come to terms with that boy so long ago. The novel is three people's quest for redemption, but it is also my attempt at an apology.


Q: In The Devil Walks in Mattingly, we meet three characters whose lives are crippled by secrets. We all must deal with failure and regret, but many struggle moving forward. Why do you think we allow our pasts to dictate our future?

I think a lot of it centers upon the fact that we're largely powerless to do anything about what's been done. We can try to make amends, try to move on, but yesterday often finds a way to leak into today. The past can be a great source of comfort, but it can also be a ghost that rattles its chains whenever things get dark. What makes it scary is that ghost is us - it's who we once were. And no matter how far we've come, those rattling chains can tempt us into believing people never really change at all.

Q: What advice do you have for people who find themselves constantly reminded of their mistakes? How do we move forward?

I believe the only way forward is through forgiveness. God's forgiveness, absolutely, which is always given and given freely. But I'm talking about forgiving yourself as well, and that is much harder. We're taught to be merciful to others, show them grace. We understand there isn't a soul in this world who isn't fighting a great battle every moment of every day. Yet when it comes to ourselves, all that teaching and understanding goes out the window. We can't grow up until we screw up. It's as important to remember that as it is to remember that God is our judge, not ourselves (which is a good thing because He's much more loving).

Q: Sometimes we try to justify or rationalize our bad decisions by saying what we did was for the greater good or was for the best in the long run. Do you think that is just a way of trying to cover our guilt, or do we really believe a wrong somehow makes a right?

Speaking just for myself, I'd say both. Our current culture seems to believe a wrong  somehow makes a right - that it doesn't matter what you do or how you do it, so long as the end result leaves you better off than you were. And more than anything, we certainly want to justify ourselves in the things we do, even if we know justification is a lie, if only to preserve our egos. We're great masters of deception, but we have yet to learn that we don't deceive others nearly as well as we do ourselves.

Q: Do you tend to write yourself and your own faith journey into your stories? If so, what are some similarities in The Devil Walks in Mattingly and your own life?

I don't know of any authors who can't help but include a bit of themselves into their stories.  I'm no different. The characters I create are always some part of me, whether large or small. In this case, I'd say I'm no different than anyone else with regard to regrets and  remorse, much of which haunt me still and perhaps always will. And in the process of learning to deal with those feelings, I became all three of Devil's main characters at one time or another. I was Jake, trying to push it all down and keep it hidden. I was Kate, trying to balance scales that could never be balanced at all by my own power. And I was even Taylor, trying to craft some sort of righteous reason for the mistakes I've made.

Q: What is the key message you hope readers walk away with? Is there a Bible verse that goes along with The Devil Walks in Mattingly?

Forgiveness comes through the grace of God, unearned and free, and that through Him our broken pieces can be made whole again. I thought often of Psalm 68:19 as I wrote this story: "Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens."


For more information about Billy Coffey and his books, visit his online home at www.billycoffey.com, become a fan on Facebook or follow him on Twitter.



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